Navigating Parenting
May 22, 2025 | by Dr. Darren M. McClellan
Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love remain, these three, and the greatest of these is love.
Dear Family of APUMC,
Perhaps I am feeling a bit nostalgic with all of the posts and pictures of graduations and other milestones this week. Or maybe I am just enjoying having my boys (ahem! Excuse me, young men) home for the summer. Whatever the case, I am reflecting on parenthood today.
Recently, I read an interview with author Jessica Slice (she is new to me). Her book, Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges An Inaccessible World is gaining attention in a variety of circles. I have not read it, yet, but suspect that I probably should for the sake of greater compassion and understanding.
There was a portion of the interview that grabbed me. It made me think of recent conversations I have had with friends and church members who are all seeking some wisdom in raising their kids. It also has me wondering if we need more conversations like this throughout the church (let me know if you agree).
In one reply, the author offers up this word of sensible grace:
“The question of who we should be as parents is massive. It’s an entire genre. Authoritative or gentle. Screens or no. Helicopter or free-range. Food freedom or unprocessed. Anytime we are faced with a choice like this, it should be run through a couple of screening tests, in my opinion.
1.) Is it predicated on fear? Is there the implication that making and implementing the right choice can somehow insulate a child from pain? Because that is impossible.
2.) Who makes money? Parenting choices have been co-opted by consumerism. For example, breastfeeding vs. formula. Entire markets have formed around both options.
We determine what kind of parents we want to be by making hundreds of daily choices. I’d argue that very few of them are determinative. I know the things I do not want to be as a mom: absent, cruel, unpredictable, or dishonest. Other than that, I’m always just figuring it out.”
A good word!
Absent. Cruel. Unpredictable.
Faith, Hope, Love. (YES!)
How might this list work for you this week? To be clear about the harm that you do not wish to do, and then to do all the good that you can?
Whether we are navigating our relationship with our children, life with our parents, friends, spouse, workplace, church, or any other community to which we are called, these seem like good checklists to keep in mind at all times.
Let’s try it together, shall we? I’d love to hear how it goes for you.
Grace to You! Now go figure!
Darren